Cosmo Continued...The Controversy

So my Cosmo post (below) had some interesting comments which I responded to but I wanted to do another post to address some issues. The lovely April at Good Books and Good Wine
seemed to think that I was insulting any woman who liked and read this magazine. She wrote:

Yes, I absolutely read Cosmo. I personally like the sex articles. I know this comes as a shock, but women enjoy sex, it's something we do. Also shocking, it takes work to 'O' as a woman, and Cosmo is very helpful for those tricks.

I mean, look at Maxim it is just as bad, yet I don't see a rant post about that. Just because a woman is upfront about sex does not make her a skank. Absolutely not.

But then, Cosmo isn't for children, it's for ADULT women. And adult women care about make-up and sex.

I'm not trying to sound mean, but I'm a woman who reads and loves Cosmo and it has yet to turn me into a skank, but I do have nice hair and a good wardrobe (thankyoucosmo). Aside from articles about sex, there are articles about detecting skin cancer, as well as about outsmarting a rapist. I mean, you aren't cosmo's demographic so I can see how it wouldn't appeal to you at all.

I didn't think she sounded mean. She sounded passionate and honest. Who doesn't like that? I imagine April isn’t the only one with this opinion and she had some great points, so I’d like to clarify my position.

I know women have sex and I’m happy for them to find it a pleasurable experience. Anything that helps them accomplish that is fine by me.

I don't think a woman is a skank because she likes sex, has sex, is upfront about sex or reads Cosmo. That kind of thinking is ridiculous, narrow-minded and just plain stupid. I do not ascribe to that opinion and if that is what people took away from my post, I apologize.

My point was that the sex related articles I saw in this issue of Cosmo weren't about helping women enjoy themselves. These articles were all about telling women how to please men sexually, not how women could please themselves. Perhaps Cosmo does have many of these types of articles but not in this issue.

I expected more about fashion and make-up and things geared to help women. I didn’t see it here. Yes there was one article about how a woman got away from a rapist which is great. And there were several single or double pages with pictures of fashion items or make-up with info on where to get the stuff and how much it cost.

My point was that the vast percentage of real articles (several pages of sentences put together in a cohesive essay) were about how to please men in the sack. It all seemed geared toward getting and keeping a man through pleasing him sexually. It’s not what I expected from a women’s magazine. (A guy’s magazine, perhaps.)

And as a guy reading this, it came off that we are interested in sex and only sex from a woman. I find that offensive. Am I interested in sex? Sure. But is that all I’m interested in? No. I understand there are many other aspects to a real relationship and not all guys are so shallow (translation - piggish).

I was raised to respect women and not treat them like objects. I’ve got a sister who I love and I don’t want guys treating her this way. The majority of articles in this issue seemed to be telling women that they should treat themselves like objects if they wanted to snag and keep a man.

I wasn’t insulting women or their sexuality. Quite frankly, I thought that’s what these magazine articles were doing.

In regards to Maxim, I haven’t read it so can’t comment about that magazine. But if it’s geared toward guys, I’d expect it to be about how women can please men. This Cosmo thing just surprised the heck out of me because women are often complaining about how guys are only interested in sex and yet that seemed to be the same attitude that this women’s mag was promoting. And then it told women how to give men what they wanted. That didn’t make sense to me.

Also, it may be geared for adult women, but it was a young teenage girl who left it at our house. And I can assure you that a vast majority of young teenage girls are reading this. Make-up, fashion and sex are very important to them too and they want the more grown-up version vs. the teen one, appropriate or not.

Again, I only read this one issue. And April’s right in saying I’m not this magazine’s demographic. So if Cosmo does it for you, ladies, have at it! Enjoy! Get out of it what works for you. This is only one guy’s opinion. I respect yours. Just don’t sell yourselves short, and try to remember, not all men are pigs!

Thanks to April, and all the commenters for giving me feedback and inspiring this dialogue!